Call me cold and heartless, But dont ever question the love a mother could have for her son. Give me a rerun and I’d do it all the same in a heartbeat. Question my actions and condemn me but everyday I search for a piece of you in him and I find none, his smile is worth any condemnation. I’d give my life to save him from a broken heart. Its hard to believe in second chances when none have ever shown me a reason to believe in.
There was just too much going on, and I just wanted to close my eyes to it all. As if by closing my eyes it could all really disappear. And then everything I once believed in began turning into lies. Eventually, I learned that promises were just sets of words put together. I guess there really isnt any preparing yourself for the pain, cause you dont really know how much itll hurt until your there watching as the blood runs down, and knowing its going to hurt doesn’t change the amount of pain thats coming. I used to wish on stars of every kind that I could somehow spread my wings and fly. I never realized that there was no running away from a broken heart. I wish I could save you from a broken heart. I wish I could cover your eyes and ears to heart ache. I wish that I could cure the pain by giving you Tylenol thirty minutes before your appointment. But things dont ever happen the way we imagine, and we dont really realize its happened until we see blood. They say the first cut is the deepest. Thats probably why it takes the longest to heal.
Art is nothing more then the inside of your brain he said. In that case, i guess the inside of my brain is nothing more then scribbles and tangled words.
Ive become obsessed with the waves of the sea. Maybe its what I’ve seen in them. Maybe its the way they discover the most hidden treasures.
Ive put my all into you. Sweat, blood and tears. So I dont ever want to hear you say I can’t do this, I can’t go on. All it take is just
One more step
One more breath
One last try.
I’m not ready. Im not ready for a lot. And the things I am ready for come at me like rain, slowly and then all at once. Im not strong enough to be called Your valiant one and I could never pretend to be ‘cause i know You see right through me. But if I could tell you one thing for certain it would be that I need You. Everyday I need You.
You learn how to choose.
She asked me, what’s a the point to this all?
Thats it, you learn to choose, you learn that not everything that is shiny and beautiful is worth it.
I’ve made my fair share of disasters. I destroyed. I broke. I killed. I stole. I ran. I hid. I tore. I lied. I crushed. I damaged. I harmed. I took. I cheated. But I also pleaded. I waited. I fought as if for my last breath. I gave it everything I was. And I lost every single piece. I gave until there was none left to give. You keep searching for the girl that ran away, but your searching in all the wrong places, you see, I couldn’t bring her along, how could I have picked up every scattered piece? Shes there under your bed, and in your closet with the rest of the skeletons. Thats why you feel her still, thats why the smell of her still seems so real even after all these years. I lost her to you. But I gained me.
And she told me, people don’t realize to leave everything for Everything is hard. But its worth it.
so ill trust in your promises. the promises of peace, and everlasting love. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
so ill trust in you and the promises of love and peace. ill look towards you because only you can give me what my soul searches for.
They don’t understand the reasons why I love you but I don’t need them to. They won’t understand the reasons for why I picked up and left it all behind without a single look back but the reasons are simple you saved me. You saved me from me. I could have walked right into deaths hands and given him the things that have always belonged to You. They don’t need to understand. You saved me .
There are still some memories that bring a ping of pain that runs through me so quickly , its almost as if Ive heard your ghostly voice. Some days I remember the city where we first met and actually miss it, mostly its the colors the way Autumn was actually Autumn there, the way the colors brought life in the middle of all the death. Death is the perfect word to describe the city where we first met it was all around me and even inside me it grew on me and I even had a special place for it. A lifetime of winters I spent by your side always waiting on Spring but I guess thats the thing about life and death they dont get along very well.